The Online Magazine For Amateur Boat Builders

by David "Shorty" Routh
Guest Columnist

How To Sell A Board Boat

A bit of fiction written as a thank you note for

Dear David Luckenbach,

I wanted to say thanks a bunch for your great classifieds!! I was able to sell my sailboat in no time. About a month after the sale, the coast guard contacted me about my boat, evidently Taliban terrorists were using it in a drug running operation and they had been killed by a competing cuban cartel. The boat was found adrift, and the coast guard confiscated the 50 kilos of cocaine from underneath the forward deck, in which I had previously installed a deck plate to air it out and repair that bow eye.

After determining that I was in no way connected with the drugs, the coast guard returned the Force 5 to me, and along with it came a bunch of reporters. They interviewed me and I was on national TV!! They even aired some of the words I spoke. The next day after the news cast, I was called upon by a publisher who wanted me to publish a book. They even had a ghost writer complete it in the next week, now I am receiving royalty payments and can afford to retire.

Just when I though it couldn't get any better, (no the swedish bikini team did NOT parachute in), I was working on that lucky Force 5 and discovered what looked like some damage at the back of the aft-cockpit storage compartment. I was about to glass up the hole, but heard something knocking around in there. Thinking it was a loose block of foam, I opened up some more area and discovered several huge stacks of cash! The taliban had hidden their drug money in the back!!!

I am writing this to you from my laptop, on the porch of my new waterfront house that looks like a big easter island head which was built custom for me over the past month after discovering the "cache" in the Force 5. All of this because I listed a boat on your web page, and I have my lucky boat back. I really didn't want to sell it in the first place, just that I was broke and needed the money.

David "Shorty" Routh